I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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