I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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