he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
