Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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