I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
