OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
