ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
