i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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