no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
