I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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