I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
