i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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