I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
