Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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