so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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