why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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