I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
