do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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