ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
