my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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