I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
