apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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