She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
