She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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