discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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