i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
