dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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