She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
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