Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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