How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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