it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize