Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
