im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize