Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
