Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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