I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it's like iHOP with fire
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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