So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You're like the curious george of whores
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
