"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
