we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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