no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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