I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
