oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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