thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
