Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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