So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
