we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
