Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize