i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
