come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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