I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
