How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
