Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
