This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize