You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize