i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
