he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize