I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
