he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
