wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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