and she was petting her beer can
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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