what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
