She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
