its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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