My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
