is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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