Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
