do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
