So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
