Define "chronic" masturbator.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
