I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
