i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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