I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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