dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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