i permit you to call me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
