Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
