im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
