In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
