:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
