No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
